There was a point in my life when I actually enjoyed having conversations over the phone, except with my grandma. But ever since I started dating, that's one of the things I try to avoid at all costs. I hate phone calls almost as much as being asked "What are we?" It all comes down to bitches don't know how to act. Ladies, if you plan on calling me while doing any of the following:
Yelling at kids
Singing along to music
Having entire conversations with other people
Putting me on speaker
Not speaking directly into the mic
Asking me "Why you so quiet?" after ignoring the last statement I made
I understand that women sometimes do annoying shit to test you. I also understand that a lot of these shit tests are done subconsciously, even though they're immediately aware when you pass or fail. Furthermore, I understand that passing all her tests today doesn't exempt me from even more tests in the future. The shit never stops. I accept that.
What I don't understand, is how someone in desperate need of attention, could pick the most intrusive means of communication despite not having shit to talk about. Why would you call me and then put the burden of carrying the conversation on my shoulders? And when I accept that burden, you can't even give me the courtesy of having your full attention.
If there are things in your surrounding environment that require your immediate attention, then just call me back. I'm ok with that. Better yet, just text me. You clearly don't have anything important to tell me, because if you did, you would've said the shit as soon as I answered the phone.
I've made my disdain for pointless phone calls known plenty of times and I get responses like, "I didn't want nothing. I just wanted to hear your voice" or "Well, you never call me, so I only get to talk to you when we see each other" or "I don't like texting."
Let me dismantle these pitiful excuses real quick.
1.If you don't want anything, then you wouldn't have called. Wanting to hear my voice is WANTING something. Also, I'm a rapper with a decent amount of music out. If you really want to hear my voice, then go stream my music. That actually benefits both of us.
2.The reason I don't call, is because I never have a reason to. I only call people when I need an immediate answer to a question. Now, if our conversations in person were entertaining enough, then maybe I would call from time to time just to chat, but that's rarely the case.
3.If you don't like texting, then we won't be talking much, because that's all I do now. That means you should have a whole lot to say when we see each other in person, because if you don't, it's going to be damn near impossible to convince me to call you in the future.
I get that communication is key in any type of relationship and I'm not opposed to conversing with anyone for extended amounts of time if the conversation is stimulating. What I won't do though, is let someone hold my time hostage because they crave my validation. CLICK.
Women date up and men date down. In the dating world, there is a clear hierarchy. Like most hierarchies, there are few people at the top while the majority are distributed throughout the middle. That leaves a small minority of people at the very bottom. It's set up this way, because most things naturally follow the 80/20 rule. This rule applies to many things, but as far as dating goes, 20% of the population have what it takes to attract at least 80% of the population.
To make things easier to explain, I'll separate men and women into 2 different hierarchies. I'm doing this because woman generally hold more value than men, so there's really no point in grouping them together. The differences between the two do correlate, though. For example, 80% of men are at least somewhat attracted to 80% of women, but only 20% of women are somewhat attracted to at least 80% of men.
Now, that I've set up a foundation around the dating hierarchy, you'll better understand why women prefer to date up and men choose to date down. At a quick glance, it's obvious to see that most women generally have more options than most men. That plays a huge factor in their dating standards. It is to be said that men have high preferences, but women have high standards. What I mean by that, is most men base their dating standards on what's consistently obtainable, while most women base their standards on what they desire most. BARS.
Those are straight bars of wisdom, but I already know some of y'all don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, so let me simplify it even more. Lets say the average person, on a scale of 1-10, is a 7 when it comes to looks. Let's also say that there is an equal amount of avaliable male 7s as female 7s, and that goes for every ranking 1-10. Logically, you would think all the 7s would end up together, because they're equal, but that's not the case.
Because of the previously stated hierarchy, everyone wants to be with a 10. The problem is, the 10s want to date each other, so there aren't that many 10s to go around. The 7-men realize this and set their standard at consistently dating 7-women, but the 7-women will pass on these guys in the hopes of attracting 10-men. This causes 7-men to lower their standards even more to 5 or 6-women, hence men "dating down." The 7-women go through a similar process when they realize 10-men will only go as low as dating 8-women, but they lower their standards to 8-men, hence women "dating up."
The psychological ramifications of this, are men have become comfortable dating down, because it's more convenient. Even if a man is a 10, he knows it takes less effort to impress a woman that's an 8 than it does a woman that's a 10. This causes an inflated self-esteem in women as well as a false sense of entitlement. Imagine, a 8-woman who gets hit on by a few 10-men. She's going to use those instances to convince herself that she's too good for an 8-man. And that's consequently how women started dating up.
I used attractiveness to measure dating value just as an example, but the 1-10 scale could apply to anything you value in a partner. It could be looks, money, intelligence, game, personality, status; whatever. That's why you'll sometimes see a smart successful woman dating a bum ass street nigga. As far as dating goes, she values his grittiness over her own stability. People will look at their statuses and think she's dating down, but he makes her FEEL like she's dating up because she loves guys with an edge. The guy might value big titties, but this woman has A-cups, so he FEELS like he's dating down. But he doesn't mind, because the woman he's attracted matches the level of effort he's willing to put in. Got it now?
These are the "4 Fs" that I live by. I could've called this post "Money Peace Health Happiness," but I wanted to stunt with my alliteration skills. Plus marketing is everything. Not too many guides for how to live sound as sexy as the "4 Fs." These are the fundamentals to enjoying life to the fullest. I know it might sound corny at first, but after I explain why I chose these 4 specific things, you'll see why you should just shut the fuck up and roll with it.
First thing's first, you got to get your money right. I don't care what your goal is in life, but you'll definitely either need money to achieve that goal or having money will make it easier to reach that goal. You want to be a professional student? Well, the best teachers are going to need that check. You want a family with the nice house and white picket fence? Then you're going to have to pay for all that. Them kids have to eat something other than Ramen Noodles.
"So how do I you get my bread up?" I know that's what you're probably asking. Well that's simple. Just get off your ass and go get it. That might seem like a disingenuous answer, but that's literally the first step. Most people get stuck in the rat race because they dream about the life they want to be able to afford instead of making a plan and actually working towards that goal. I already made a post on how to get your finances in order so you can use that as a guide.
Sex; the thing that we all know and love. Since most of my readers are men, I'll mainly be talking to the fellas here, but the ladies should find this information helpful as well.
Most of y'all would like to have access to an unlimited amount of pussy. As do I. But don't let that be your end all be all. This is why I listed "fucking" after "finance." You can accomplish more with money than with pussy. To a man, sex is nothing more than a stress reliever. That's why fucking is synonymous with "peace." A healthy sex life will keep your stress levels down so you can continue chasing your dreams.
Think of sex as a massage. You don't work hard to GET a massage. You get a massage BECAUSE you've been working hard. I'll make another comparison for the slow people in the back. Sex is also like food. Is it a necessity? Yes. But it's no one's life goal to eat as much food as possible before they die. Necessities are not goals. Food's only purpose is to replenish the energy you spent on chasing your purpose. With that being said, DO NOT let yourself fall into a drought. A horny man is an unfocused man. Keep enough pussy around to prevent your balls from turning blue.
Here in the states, it seems like we care a lot about fitness with all the workout infomercials and abundance of gyms everywhere. But if you count the fat motherfuckers walking around, you'll realize we don't give a fuck about fitness. I've fallen off the wagon a few times as far as letting myself go, but I always manage to get back in shape. Why? Because my physical health is important to me.
What's the point of making a million dollars on Tuesday and fucking a bad bitch on Wednesday, just to find out your fat ass dreamed those things while in the hospital after you went into a diabetic coma on Monday? I'm not saying that every guy needs to look like he's in the Avengers or that every girl needs to look like the photoshopped pics you see online, but at least live a healthy enough life so you can enjoy your accomplishments for as long as possible. You should be able to finish everything on your bucket list and still have enough time start a new one.
This is the part that everyone sucks at. This sounds like the easiest thing to do, but I'm surprised at how joyless some people's lives are. Even the people who have the good job, with the loving spouse, kids that aren't retarded or ugly and the paid off house, still seem unsatisfied with life. The reason, is they lack fun.
I don't care how much your job pays, eventually you'll wake up not wanting to go to that motherfucker. I don't care how much you love your partner, eventually one or both of you will fall out of love. One thing that will remain constant, is your need foe entertainment. And doing the same shit you normally do in your free time won't cut it. Fuck sitting at home and watching Netflix. Fuck getting drunk/high and playing video games. Fuck going to the same bars and clubs just so you can potentially fuck a stranger. Try some new shit. Write down the fun shit you've always wanted to do and then actually start doing that shit.
There's not much else to life than these 4 Fs. Just get it done.
As a kid, I was pretty good at following directions from my parents. You know, "Don't touch that," "Sit down," "Shut the fuck up." The one thing I couldn't get with is saying "Yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, no ma'am." At first, they were pretty strict about it. But once they realized I was going to fight them every step of the way, they settled for me responding with "yes" instead of "yeah."
When I look back on those times, I'm actually proud of myself for standing my ground and sticking to what little principles I had at that age. The reason I refused to address adults as "sir" or "ma'am" was because no one really explained why it was rude to NOT do so. All I got was the same answer over and over again. "It's a respect thing and you have to respect your elders." I was never given a real why.
It seems I never broke out of that "why stage," because I'm still searching for a reason why my elders feel they are entitled to my respect. I don't even see the benefit of obtaining respect in that way. I grew up with the notion that respect needs to be earned. With that being said, how does being born x amount of years before me automatically lead you to assume that's enough to earn my respect? It just makes no sense.
Any way, I say all of that to say this. I've never been one to talk to people as if they're better than me. Don't get me wrong, I still show people the same respect they show me. I try not to talk to people as if they're beneath me, but more or less as equals. I still clean up my language around certain people for the sake of kids or my job, but you'll never hear me talking to someone as if I've placed them on a pedestal.
What's funny, is the more I respect someone; the more casual I am in conversation, because a lot of my respect is based on how well you can handle my bluntness. That's why I can talk to military, police or real street niggas like they're my homeboys. I figure if they can handle all the things they have to deal with in their lives, then they can handle my authenticity. I don't feel the need to bite my tongue for fear of offending them.
My mentality has always been, "Nobody is better than me." So I have no reason to talk to people like they're better than me, even when I converse with bad bitches. And I only mention bad bitches because that's most men's krypronite. For some reason, it takes guys a long time to realize that the easiest way to bag a bad bitch is to treat her like a normal ass person. Do not suck up to her. Most of them will respect your lack of thirst. At the end of the day, I'm "that nigga" and I don't have to kiss anyone's ass.
One life lesson I've had to learn the hard way is to never stop looking for more than what I have. For some reason, that decent into complacency is one of the hardest traps to avoid. Time and time again, I get a good thing, knowing I can do better, but I remain content until something drastic happens. So here are the top 3 thing you should never stop looking for:
So many guys use pussy to measure their worth, but when they find consistent vag, they hang up their jerseys. I'll tell you right now, that makes absolutely no sense. That's like starting a business and after only 1 profitable day, you assume you can kick back and let the money roll in. Guys tend to do the same thing with women. They find a half way decent looking chick who isn't nearly as annoying as the last few exes, so they're convince they've found a fucking "unicorn."
One of my OGs warned me by saying, "Beware the drought." What he meant by that was, don't put yourself in a position that will leave you looking/acting thirsty. We've all been there. You find some consistent poon and she convinces you to cut off all your side hoes. Then after the honeymoon phase is over, something happens, and now you're single again. Now, there is nothing wrong with being single. There's nothing wrong with being in a committed relationship, either. The problem, is sitting at home with your dick in your hand because your side hoes forgot about you and you also let your game get rusty.
I personally, don't have a problem with cheating, but for those of you that do, that's not what I'm suggesting. Ideally, you'd just keep all your relationships open so that way your girl knows about your side hoes and is OK with them. The downside, is you have to be OK with her being dicked down by the guy who worked on your car last weekend. Another option, is to do what your girl is probably already doing. Just keep flirting with other girls. Keep going out with your friends and collecting phone numbers. Build up a roster of sideline women to fall back on.
Remember, don't knock up a bitch if she hasn't proven herself worthy of ALL your time and money. Obviously, you'd never give away all of either, but that's how sure you need to be about keeping her in your life. And if you change your mind right after busting that nut, just know that Plan B is better than no plan at all.
I don't support marriage at all, but I'll give some advice to those of you who go through with it any way. GET A PRENUP! I don't care if you don't have a cent to your name. Get one any way. You should be planning to level up your finances as you get older any way. If you have any ambition at all, you'll definitely have more to lose on day 3000 than you did on day 1. Think about it. How will you attract new bitches if the old one took half your shit?
I am completely guilty when it comes to being complacent at a gig. In the back of my hear I know that someone always has a better offer. ie. (better pay, better benefits, better hours, shorter commute, etc.) Remember, you are steadily increasing your value with experience. So the longer you work at one job; the more money you should feel comfortable asking for. You can't let yourself work a $15/hr job for 3 years and still only make $15/hr. Not to mention, you could get fired at any time for any reason.
Complacency kills goals. You're already gaining experience, so it couldn't hurt to stack up a few certifications or at least fill out a few applications to hire paying jobs every week. And for my workhorses out there, look for a 2nd gig, even if its just doing a few Door Dash/Postmates deliveries on the side. A steady check is cool, but multiple streams on income is even better. Imagine getting paid on Friday, then Monday, then the upcoming Friday again. Lovely.
I know this shit sounds corny, but you always need to be searching for happiness. You could stick to what you know like smoking, drinking, clubbing, video games etc. But get outside of your comfort zone from time to time. Try new shit.
What I like to do is, do group activities alone. For example, I've been going to the movie by myself for the last few years and its surprisingly refreshing. I go in the middle of the week right when the theaters open. I love it. No lines, no sticky floors, no kids, no people talking during the movie, no late friends making me miss the previews, no date to cash out on movie snacks. Try that shit.
Another thing I like to do is follow a little advice I got from this chick I met in Nairobi. She was a dirt poor single mother, but she always had a pleasant warmth to her. I could tell she been through a lot of shit, but she was hanging in there. She attributed her good outlook on life to being able to treat herself once a week. That was years ago, but that stuck with me. I don't do it every week, but I do try to treat myself to a little something on a regular basis. Usually something small like a meal from my favorite restaurant or a box of ammo.
At the end of the day, you need to make the most out of life by actually living it. If you can get to a place where you're content, then that's cool. But why stop there? Why settle for being content. You finally hit that bad bitch that's been flirting with you online? Well, see if she bout that threesome action. You find a 2nd job that hardly requires any real work? Well, take that extra paycheck and invest it. You finally lost that weight you gained in college? Well, now try to get a 6-pack. Never stop looking for something better.
In your lifetime, you'll run into 6 different types of people: students, teachers, steps, entertainers, crutches and companions. After reading this, you'll know which one of these types you are as well as which types you're compatible with. You'll also know the pros and cons of each type. Keep this in mind however, most people won't be just one type. More than likely you'll come across people who are a mixture of 2-3 types. Additionally, people will go through type phases where they start off as one type and transition into another.
This is where i am in life. The name obviously lets you know that these types crave knowledge, which means they can be taught. They are usually willing to admit when they need help, even the prideful ones. Students are very motivated and are generally appreciative and humble.
The down side to students is they will put on a front for other students. They don't want other students to know how much knowledge they lack. Another con is they are known to become dependent on their teachers. They also suffer from "analysis paralysis," which means they tend to overthink things. This overthinking causes them to procrastinate or not take action at all.
As you may have guessed, teachers are the counterparts to students. Obviously they have a knack for sharing knowledge in a palatable way. They make very good mentors and are usually willing to help a good student, especially if that student reminds them of themselves.
Beware of teachers who used to be bad students. They don't mind teaching, but their information is probably wrong. Another con of teachers is if they don't see any value in you as a student, then they'll see teaching you as a waste of time. The more lenient teachers often become Crutches. So much to the point where they take on too many students and become unavailable when you need them most.
Steps are basically push-overs. They are very easy to take advantage of. These are the type of people that build your self-esteem, because being around them makes you feel superior. They will bend over backwards to make you happy now matter how you treat them in return. They're very kindhearted. They're essentially toilet paper. Use them, abuse them and get rid of them.
They may be push-overs, but every push-over has a breaking point. Once they reach that point, there's no telling how they'll react yo being used. They might cut you off; they might cut your throat. Another con is they're sometimes depressing to be around. It's easy to take advantage of someone if you're the only one doing it, but when you see the rest of the world doing the same thing to them, that shit is a little sad. Be aware, if your self-esteem isn't where it needs to be then their low self-esteem might rub off on you. The final con is other people will view you as an asshole for taking advantage of a step.
Entertainers are all around fun people. They'll help you to relieve stress. They're also the perfect people to hit up when you're bored. They are very charismatic and having any type of relationship with them will raise your social status.
The things most people don't like about entertainers is they can't take anything serious. More than likely that's a defense mechanism to mask some psychological pain. Another thing you may notice, is they're pretty boring outside of their element. If they're not in the mood to be the life of the party, then they'll become a waste of space.
A Crutch is similar to a Step in that they are dependable and kindhearted. They are also group-oriented. The main difference between the two is that Crutches are usually strong-willed and self-reliant. They'll do what they can to help you, but their self-esteem isn't tied to their ability to benefit others.
If you already have a Crutch in your life, they probably secretly hate you and a lot of the kind things they do for you are out of reluctance. These are the type of people who, for some reason, just can't tell you "No."
They also tend to bite off more than they can chew, which might be detrimental to their own lives. You might confuse these types with Steps, but they have a way lower breaking point. Keep in mind, they're helping you to be nice, but they will cut you off if they sense you're unappreciative.
These types are the most well-rounded as far as psychological stability goes. In the romantic sense, I guess you could call them "soul mate." More than likely these types of people become your best friends. You guys have similar likes and dislikes. You also feel comfortable being yourself around these people.
Companions tend to turn into Crutches, because they are so hard to replace, people become dependent on them. As trustworthy as Companions are, they are still human and sometimes will switch up on you during major life changes. Another huge issue, is you will always be competing with others for their attention, since other people will want to have them in their lives as well.
All in all, I say you should keep at least one of every type of person around you. It's always good to have diverse company.
Looks like cops killed another innocent black guy and people are pissed about it. I hate seeing this shit, but it pops up on the news and social media so much that I've become desensitized to it. I already know there will be protest that essentially don't help anyone. I also know that these peaceful protests will eventually turn into riots. Even though none of this is out of the ordinary, I've had an epiphany. The protests and riots actually do make a difference.
Don't get me wrong. I'm still refusing to be apart of any of it, but now I understand their importance. Specifically, I understand the riots. And that includes the looting, killing, burning and destruction of both private and public property. Riots are meant to garner the attention of people like me; people who choose to ignore the issues at hand.
Some people see the riots as aimless chaos, but let me clarify that chaos. The goal is to make EVERYONE suffer every time black people face an injustice. That way, EVERYONE has to be involved in the solution. If its a possibility that you'll lose your job, your home, your business, your kids or even your own life EVERY time a cop kills an innocent black person, then you'll be more likely to help prevent that. You'll even want to participate in punishing bad cops.
It's kind of like in the military. If you fuck up, your superiors make all your colleagues do push-ups. To make matters worse, you don't have to do any push-ups at all. This breeds a little animosity from your buddies. Now, your colleagues have incentive to make sure you don't fuck up again. And if you do, they'll punish you themselves.
Better yet, think of it this way. Imagine a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest running into a store you're shopping at streaming, "Give me $20 or I'll kill us all!" He's not talking directly to you and you may not care about his life or anyone else's, but would that really stop you from giving him the money if you had it? The riots could have the same effect. If you're negatively impacted by the current riots, then you'll be more likely to do whatever you can to prevent more in the future. The best way to prevent these riots is to quit fucking with black people for no reason.
Me and millions of people who think like me, haven't been active enough in the fight against injustice; specifically the injustices black people face when dealing with the law. As a result of our complacency, innocent black people have continued to be murdered, framed, harassed and wrongfully arrested by crooked and incompetent police.
I used to be one of those people that said, "None of this protesting is going to make a difference" or "Messing your own neighborhoods isn't going to get any results," but I've slightly changed my stance. I still have little faith in getting results from peaceful protests, outside of spreading awareness. But I will say, protests open the doors for riots, which are crucial for change, if their impact is large enough.
Public uproars like this usually don't make a huge difference. And the reason they usually don't is because people normally calm down after a couple weeks and go back to their normal lives. But this situation is a little different than most. A lot of people don't have school or jobs to go back to, so they have all the time in the world to cause chaos. Not to mention, a lot of people have been stuck in the house itching to get out and do anything social.
So what's next? Depends on everyone fighting, really. If they can keep this up until it effect most people, then they have a good chance of making a major change in this country. I will warn you, though. This is war and wars have casualties on both sides. Our neighborhoods will burn along with theirs. Innocent people on both sides will die; even people not involved. Be prepared to lose everything you love for the sake of people you'll never meet.
When it comes to dating, there is a very distinct difference between how men and women choose mates. It's actually similar to how a lot of other animals choose mates. Men take the shotgun approach. They know exactly what they want, and they'll put forth a decent effort while shooting their shot, but will take whatever they can hit. Most men aren't super picky, especially if they don't fall in the top 20% of men as far as height, income, looks and confidence.
Women, on the other hand are passive choosers. Their strategy involves making themselves available to many men at once and then taking their pick of the best ones. Usually the men they choose outrank them in some kind of way that's significant to them. For example, an intelligent women is going to choose a guy that's smarter than her or a woman who makes $80k/yr is going to choose a guy who makes $100k/yr. Whatever she values most, the man she chooses will more than likely outdo her in that particular thing. Because of these chosen tactics, woman generally date up, and as a result, most men date down. But some women wind up date down and here are the main reasons why:
Yep, she's just plain old stupid. She has a checklist of everything she wants in a man and she thinks her current guy satisfies 90% or more of the list, but half of the list includes qualities he can easily trick her into thinking he has, like "faithfulness." Either that, or she's in denial. In the back of her mind she knows she can do better, but she tries not to think about it. Why ruin a good thing by looking for something better right?
She's just fat, ugly or has some other trait that high quality men try to avoid like kids or an attitude problem. She has plenty of options, as most women do, but her options are relatively no better than her. If she's a 3 then most of the guys that hit on her are going to be 3s or worse. And if she does manage to bag a 4+, she'll be used to cure his blue balls until he builds up the courage to talk to a 5+.
She is decent looking, if not bad, but has vulnerable self-esteem. More than likely, she was ugly/fat in the past so she grew accustomed to dating low quality guys. As her looks improved, her self-esteem remained the same. She gets hit on by high quality guys, but she feels like she's not worthy of having one so she restricts her choices to low quality men. She could also be on the rebound. She might usually date up, but right now, she just needs ANY guy to help her take her mind off her ex, even if she's out of his league.
She is a fucking unicorn. She's a 10 as far as looks, smart, makes 6 figures, has no kids, she has the full package. Problem is, there aren't any single men in her social circles that can show her up in any category. She's better than every man she meets in every way. She has no choice but to date down.
Ruined all good opportunities
To keep it simple, she's a bitch. She had plenty of chances to date up but she fuck up all her opportunities. Maybe she cheated and got caught, maybe she nagged all her exes to death or maybe she waited to long to settle down and is now past her prime. Maybe she's a 7 that feels like she deserves a 10 but all she got hit on was 8s and 9s. Now that she's lost some of her looks, she only gets hit on by 5s and 6s. Who knows. All she knows is she could've been happy with one of the guys she met/dated in the past but she ran them all off somehow.
Oh yes, this is a common one. She's pretty much just checking for niggas with big dick prints in their sweat pants. She's trying to get the bottom knocked out of her pussy before settling down and being someone's boring ass wife. She's looking for quantity; not quality. If she's drunk enough or she feels like you can fuck the shit out of her, then you got a shot.
Trying something new
So she's been dating high quality men for awhile now, and she's starting to realize that the type of men she's attracted to the most always turn out to be fuck boys. They cheat on her, lie to her, beat her, steal from her, are emotionally unavailable, never take her out on formal dates, etc. Now she wants to try dating outside her preference to see if the guys she's been passing on will treat her any better. They probably will, but unfortunately, she's clearly out of their leagues.
So, there you have it. This is why you sometimes see a bad bitch with some short, fat, ugly nigga with no fashion sense. It isn't because he's really funny or has some amazing game. More than likely, he got lucky and met the right chick at the right time. Remember, if you're close enough, a shot gun will hit exactly what you're aiming at.
I want to kill myself, but I don't want to waste all this potential. A better way to put it, would be that I'm tired of living; MY life, at least. I'm tired of bills, tired of traffic, tired of people, places, things; I'm just fucking tired. On the outside looking in, I probably seem like I have life figured out and for the most part I do. That's partially why it would be dumb for me to end it now. There's at least another 10 years worth of effort left in me; it just doesn't feel like it.
When I was younger, I thought suicide was the coward's way out. As I got older, I realized that I had it backwards. Suicide victims aren't the cowards; it's the ones who go on living. The cowards are the ones who literally have nothing to look forward to tomorrow or any of the days following. The cowards are the ones who broadcast to the world that they're thinking about doing "it," in hopes of reaching someone who will "talk them out of it." The cowards want a fucking medal for being too pussy to, for once, take life into their own hands.
It's funny, because while I'm writing this, I realize I'm a fucking coward. No matter how much I think about doing it; I know I won't. I know how I would do it just in case I change my mind, but chances are I reach that level of success I've always dreamed of and then I'll have the opposite problem. More than likely, I'll obtain everything I've ever wanted in life and struggle to hang on to it due to my fear of losing it all when I die.
Now, before anyone of you flood my social media or phone with half-assed pity posts/texts, please ask yourself this one question:
"Who am I, to persuade another ADULT, to live a life they HATE, just to avoid sadness in MY life?"
This is a quote from one of the greatest beings to ever walk the face of this earth. And that person, is me, because I'm a goddamn poet! I really want you to pay attention to my choice of words, especially the capitalized ones.
First there is "ADULT." I emphasived this word to remind y'all that I'm a grown ass man and I'll do whatever the fuck I want with "MY" life. Even though I've already admitted that I'm just talking out my ass right now, people are still going to try and "persuade" me to live on. Don't bother. I'm not crazy, depressed or have any other mental illness, so if I do decide to kill myself, just know that I was in my right mind. Just assume that I've already presented every possible anti-suicide argument to myself and logic determined that death was the best option for me.
Next major word, is "HATE." If I'm at the point where I hate my life and you are apart of said life, then what makes you think that you're going to be the life-altering factor in my decision? Your "sadness" due to my passing obviously means nothing to me, because I wasn't living for you. If I don't know you at all, then you are even less of a factor. It's weird how so many people can be pro-choice when it comes to a parent killing their child, but a lot of those same people feel like potential suicide victims should relinquish the choice of killing themselves.
Any way, I'll be around for at least another 20 years if I stay away from salt. This rant isn't so much about me as it is about my thoughts on suicide in general. If someone WANTS to die, who are you to stop them? I almost feel like thoughts of suicide are apart of natural selection. I say let evolution do it's thing. By the way, I'm pro-choice; I hate traffic and kids. I say all that to say this; kudos to the suicide heroes who had big enough balls to "put up or shut up." You have earned my respect.
Good liars don't lie; they exaggerate the truth.
How do you become a good liar? It's pretty easy; just stop lying. Right about now, you're probably thinking, "What the fuck is this nigga talking about? If I was comfortable telling the truth all the time, then I wouldn't care about being a good liar." Just hear me out. Have you ever been accused of lying even though you were telling the truth? If so, then you suck at telling the truth and you probably suck at lying too.
The reason people always think you're lying, even when you're not, is because you ARE always lying. On top of that, you're so bad at lying that you've been caught in too many lies to have any credibility when you actually tell the truth. Most bad liars have a tell, which is a change in body language/speech pattern whenever they lie. Other people, especially women, pick up on this either consciously or subconsciously and that's how they know you're lying.
An example of an obvious tell would be forced eye contact. A rumor was spread long ago that liars generally avoid eye contact while speaking. Because of this "common knowledge," liars purposefully stare you down while talking to you, even to the point of awkwardness.
When you consistently lie to the same people, they become conditioned to seeing/hearing you in a lying state. Whenever someone's body language/speech pattern switches up, that change is picked up by the person listening and they get a weird feeling, like something is "off." That feeling is normally followed by the thought, "This lying motherfucker."
This leads to a couple of problems. The first problem with horrible habitual liars, is that they give off this same weird vibe when they're telling the truth. The second problem, is most people have been conditioned to associate that weird feeling with being lied to. This is why people don't believe you when you tell the truth. Either your body language or word choice doesn't match with what you are saying.
Here's an example. Let's say your significant other asks you if you love them. It's a "yes" or "no" question, so a truthful answer requires either a "yes" or a "no" response. Any answer you give that doesn't include the words, "yes" or "no" is going to come off as a lie. If you don't immediately respond with a, "Yes," then the honest answer is obviously a "No." A lot of people try to sugarcoat their "no" by saying shit like, "Uh....well, I really care about you and blah blah blah." This comes off as a lie, even if its true, especially if the awkwardness of the situation has you stumbling over your words or fumbling around with something in yours hands.
So what is the solution? Just stop lying. Tell 100% of the truth 100% of the time from now on. When someone asks you something, just respond truthfully. Take it even a step farther by volunteering brutal honesty. Get mean with it. Don't give long answers to short questions, either. If someone asks a "yes or no" question, then give them a "yes or no" response. Once you've regained their trust, that's when you can start lying to them again.
As I've stated at the beginning of this post, good liars don't lie; they exaggerate the truth. What do I mean by this? Here is a good example. A lawyer says, "My client is innocent" even though their client definitely did the crime. The lawyer is stretching the truth. We all know the phrase "innocent until proven guilty." Well, that means you are legally innocent of any crimes you are accused of if there isn't sufficient evidence. Even if the lawyer's client did the crime, if the evidence says otherwise or isn't strong enough, then technically the defendant is "innocent."
Here is another example. Let's say you're a guy texting a girl you've been trying to fuck for a while. It's around 11pm and you both have been texting back and forth for about an hour or so. You suggest a "Netflix and chill" date and she agrees if you are willing to pick her up and drop her off in the morning. You ask for the address then don't get a response until 12pm the next day. Her excuse is that she fell asleep. Now, she actually did fall asleep, but her excuse implies she fell asleep before your last message was sent, which is the exaggeration. The truth is, she didn't read your message until the next day because she spent the night fucking another guy at his house. The lie is simple, but believable. It's hard to doubt how tired someone could be at 11pm and I'm sure a lot of you have fallen asleep during a phone call or texting conversation. I know I have.
This is how it's done. If you want to be a good liar, then every lie you tell must have a little bit of truth to it. A lot of liars try to get too creative with the shit they come up with. Just don't. Keep it simple. Keep details to a minimum. Think of this shit like a bank robbery. Get in. Get the money. Get out.