As a kid, I was pretty good at following directions from my parents. You know, "Don't touch that," "Sit down," "Shut the fuck up." The one thing I couldn't get with is saying "Yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, no ma'am." At first, they were pretty strict about it. But once they realized I was going to fight them every step of the way, they settled for me responding with "yes" instead of "yeah."
When I look back on those times, I'm actually proud of myself for standing my ground and sticking to what little principles I had at that age. The reason I refused to address adults as "sir" or "ma'am" was because no one really explained why it was rude to NOT do so. All I got was the same answer over and over again. "It's a respect thing and you have to respect your elders." I was never given a real why.
It seems I never broke out of that "why stage," because I'm still searching for a reason why my elders feel they are entitled to my respect. I don't even see the benefit of obtaining respect in that way. I grew up with the notion that respect needs to be earned. With that being said, how does being born x amount of years before me automatically lead you to assume that's enough to earn my respect? It just makes no sense.
Any way, I say all of that to say this. I've never been one to talk to people as if they're better than me. Don't get me wrong, I still show people the same respect they show me. I try not to talk to people as if they're beneath me, but more or less as equals. I still clean up my language around certain people for the sake of kids or my job, but you'll never hear me talking to someone as if I've placed them on a pedestal.
What's funny, is the more I respect someone; the more casual I am in conversation, because a lot of my respect is based on how well you can handle my bluntness. That's why I can talk to military, police or real street niggas like they're my homeboys. I figure if they can handle all the things they have to deal with in their lives, then they can handle my authenticity. I don't feel the need to bite my tongue for fear of offending them.
My mentality has always been, "Nobody is better than me." So I have no reason to talk to people like they're better than me, even when I converse with bad bitches. And I only mention bad bitches because that's most men's krypronite. For some reason, it takes guys a long time to realize that the easiest way to bag a bad bitch is to treat her like a normal ass person. Do not suck up to her. Most of them will respect your lack of thirst. At the end of the day, I'm "that nigga" and I don't have to kiss anyone's ass.
One life lesson I've had to learn the hard way is to never stop looking for more than what I have. For some reason, that decent into complacency is one of the hardest traps to avoid. Time and time again, I get a good thing, knowing I can do better, but I remain content until something drastic happens. So here are the top 3 thing you should never stop looking for:
So many guys use pussy to measure their worth, but when they find consistent vag, they hang up their jerseys. I'll tell you right now, that makes absolutely no sense. That's like starting a business and after only 1 profitable day, you assume you can kick back and let the money roll in. Guys tend to do the same thing with women. They find a half way decent looking chick who isn't nearly as annoying as the last few exes, so they're convince they've found a fucking "unicorn."
One of my OGs warned me by saying, "Beware the drought." What he meant by that was, don't put yourself in a position that will leave you looking/acting thirsty. We've all been there. You find some consistent poon and she convinces you to cut off all your side hoes. Then after the honeymoon phase is over, something happens, and now you're single again. Now, there is nothing wrong with being single. There's nothing wrong with being in a committed relationship, either. The problem, is sitting at home with your dick in your hand because your side hoes forgot about you and you also let your game get rusty.
I personally, don't have a problem with cheating, but for those of you that do, that's not what I'm suggesting. Ideally, you'd just keep all your relationships open so that way your girl knows about your side hoes and is OK with them. The downside, is you have to be OK with her being dicked down by the guy who worked on your car last weekend. Another option, is to do what your girl is probably already doing. Just keep flirting with other girls. Keep going out with your friends and collecting phone numbers. Build up a roster of sideline women to fall back on.
Remember, don't knock up a bitch if she hasn't proven herself worthy of ALL your time and money. Obviously, you'd never give away all of either, but that's how sure you need to be about keeping her in your life. And if you change your mind right after busting that nut, just know that Plan B is better than no plan at all.
I don't support marriage at all, but I'll give some advice to those of you who go through with it any way. GET A PRENUP! I don't care if you don't have a cent to your name. Get one any way. You should be planning to level up your finances as you get older any way. If you have any ambition at all, you'll definitely have more to lose on day 3000 than you did on day 1. Think about it. How will you attract new bitches if the old one took half your shit?
I am completely guilty when it comes to being complacent at a gig. In the back of my hear I know that someone always has a better offer. ie. (better pay, better benefits, better hours, shorter commute, etc.) Remember, you are steadily increasing your value with experience. So the longer you work at one job; the more money you should feel comfortable asking for. You can't let yourself work a $15/hr job for 3 years and still only make $15/hr. Not to mention, you could get fired at any time for any reason.
Complacency kills goals. You're already gaining experience, so it couldn't hurt to stack up a few certifications or at least fill out a few applications to hire paying jobs every week. And for my workhorses out there, look for a 2nd gig, even if its just doing a few Door Dash/Postmates deliveries on the side. A steady check is cool, but multiple streams on income is even better. Imagine getting paid on Friday, then Monday, then the upcoming Friday again. Lovely.
I know this shit sounds corny, but you always need to be searching for happiness. You could stick to what you know like smoking, drinking, clubbing, video games etc. But get outside of your comfort zone from time to time. Try new shit.
What I like to do is, do group activities alone. For example, I've been going to the movie by myself for the last few years and its surprisingly refreshing. I go in the middle of the week right when the theaters open. I love it. No lines, no sticky floors, no kids, no people talking during the movie, no late friends making me miss the previews, no date to cash out on movie snacks. Try that shit.
Another thing I like to do is follow a little advice I got from this chick I met in Nairobi. She was a dirt poor single mother, but she always had a pleasant warmth to her. I could tell she been through a lot of shit, but she was hanging in there. She attributed her good outlook on life to being able to treat herself once a week. That was years ago, but that stuck with me. I don't do it every week, but I do try to treat myself to a little something on a regular basis. Usually something small like a meal from my favorite restaurant or a box of ammo.
At the end of the day, you need to make the most out of life by actually living it. If you can get to a place where you're content, then that's cool. But why stop there? Why settle for being content. You finally hit that bad bitch that's been flirting with you online? Well, see if she bout that threesome action. You find a 2nd job that hardly requires any real work? Well, take that extra paycheck and invest it. You finally lost that weight you gained in college? Well, now try to get a 6-pack. Never stop looking for something better.
In your lifetime, you'll run into 6 different types of people: students, teachers, steps, entertainers, crutches and companions. After reading this, you'll know which one of these types you are as well as which types you're compatible with. You'll also know the pros and cons of each type. Keep this in mind however, most people won't be just one type. More than likely you'll come across people who are a mixture of 2-3 types. Additionally, people will go through type phases where they start off as one type and transition into another.
This is where i am in life. The name obviously lets you know that these types crave knowledge, which means they can be taught. They are usually willing to admit when they need help, even the prideful ones. Students are very motivated and are generally appreciative and humble.
The down side to students is they will put on a front for other students. They don't want other students to know how much knowledge they lack. Another con is they are known to become dependent on their teachers. They also suffer from "analysis paralysis," which means they tend to overthink things. This overthinking causes them to procrastinate or not take action at all.
As you may have guessed, teachers are the counterparts to students. Obviously they have a knack for sharing knowledge in a palatable way. They make very good mentors and are usually willing to help a good student, especially if that student reminds them of themselves.
Beware of teachers who used to be bad students. They don't mind teaching, but their information is probably wrong. Another con of teachers is if they don't see any value in you as a student, then they'll see teaching you as a waste of time. The more lenient teachers often become Crutches. So much to the point where they take on too many students and become unavailable when you need them most.
Steps are basically push-overs. They are very easy to take advantage of. These are the type of people that build your self-esteem, because being around them makes you feel superior. They will bend over backwards to make you happy now matter how you treat them in return. They're very kindhearted. They're essentially toilet paper. Use them, abuse them and get rid of them.
They may be push-overs, but every push-over has a breaking point. Once they reach that point, there's no telling how they'll react yo being used. They might cut you off; they might cut your throat. Another con is they're sometimes depressing to be around. It's easy to take advantage of someone if you're the only one doing it, but when you see the rest of the world doing the same thing to them, that shit is a little sad. Be aware, if your self-esteem isn't where it needs to be then their low self-esteem might rub off on you. The final con is other people will view you as an asshole for taking advantage of a step.
Entertainers are all around fun people. They'll help you to relieve stress. They're also the perfect people to hit up when you're bored. They are very charismatic and having any type of relationship with them will raise your social status.
The things most people don't like about entertainers is they can't take anything serious. More than likely that's a defense mechanism to mask some psychological pain. Another thing you may notice, is they're pretty boring outside of their element. If they're not in the mood to be the life of the party, then they'll become a waste of space.
A Crutch is similar to a Step in that they are dependable and kindhearted. They are also group-oriented. The main difference between the two is that Crutches are usually strong-willed and self-reliant. They'll do what they can to help you, but their self-esteem isn't tied to their ability to benefit others.
If you already have a Crutch in your life, they probably secretly hate you and a lot of the kind things they do for you are out of reluctance. These are the type of people who, for some reason, just can't tell you "No."
They also tend to bite off more than they can chew, which might be detrimental to their own lives. You might confuse these types with Steps, but they have a way lower breaking point. Keep in mind, they're helping you to be nice, but they will cut you off if they sense you're unappreciative.
These types are the most well-rounded as far as psychological stability goes. In the romantic sense, I guess you could call them "soul mate." More than likely these types of people become your best friends. You guys have similar likes and dislikes. You also feel comfortable being yourself around these people.
Companions tend to turn into Crutches, because they are so hard to replace, people become dependent on them. As trustworthy as Companions are, they are still human and sometimes will switch up on you during major life changes. Another huge issue, is you will always be competing with others for their attention, since other people will want to have them in their lives as well.
All in all, I say you should keep at least one of every type of person around you. It's always good to have diverse company.
Looks like cops killed another innocent black guy and people are pissed about it. I hate seeing this shit, but it pops up on the news and social media so much that I've become desensitized to it. I already know there will be protest that essentially don't help anyone. I also know that these peaceful protests will eventually turn into riots. Even though none of this is out of the ordinary, I've had an epiphany. The protests and riots actually do make a difference.
Don't get me wrong. I'm still refusing to be apart of any of it, but now I understand their importance. Specifically, I understand the riots. And that includes the looting, killing, burning and destruction of both private and public property. Riots are meant to garner the attention of people like me; people who choose to ignore the issues at hand.
Some people see the riots as aimless chaos, but let me clarify that chaos. The goal is to make EVERYONE suffer every time black people face an injustice. That way, EVERYONE has to be involved in the solution. If its a possibility that you'll lose your job, your home, your business, your kids or even your own life EVERY time a cop kills an innocent black person, then you'll be more likely to help prevent that. You'll even want to participate in punishing bad cops.
It's kind of like in the military. If you fuck up, your superiors make all your colleagues do push-ups. To make matters worse, you don't have to do any push-ups at all. This breeds a little animosity from your buddies. Now, your colleagues have incentive to make sure you don't fuck up again. And if you do, they'll punish you themselves.
Better yet, think of it this way. Imagine a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest running into a store you're shopping at streaming, "Give me $20 or I'll kill us all!" He's not talking directly to you and you may not care about his life or anyone else's, but would that really stop you from giving him the money if you had it? The riots could have the same effect. If you're negatively impacted by the current riots, then you'll be more likely to do whatever you can to prevent more in the future. The best way to prevent these riots is to quit fucking with black people for no reason.
Me and millions of people who think like me, haven't been active enough in the fight against injustice; specifically the injustices black people face when dealing with the law. As a result of our complacency, innocent black people have continued to be murdered, framed, harassed and wrongfully arrested by crooked and incompetent police.
I used to be one of those people that said, "None of this protesting is going to make a difference" or "Messing your own neighborhoods isn't going to get any results," but I've slightly changed my stance. I still have little faith in getting results from peaceful protests, outside of spreading awareness. But I will say, protests open the doors for riots, which are crucial for change, if their impact is large enough.
Public uproars like this usually don't make a huge difference. And the reason they usually don't is because people normally calm down after a couple weeks and go back to their normal lives. But this situation is a little different than most. A lot of people don't have school or jobs to go back to, so they have all the time in the world to cause chaos. Not to mention, a lot of people have been stuck in the house itching to get out and do anything social.
So what's next? Depends on everyone fighting, really. If they can keep this up until it effect most people, then they have a good chance of making a major change in this country. I will warn you, though. This is war and wars have casualties on both sides. Our neighborhoods will burn along with theirs. Innocent people on both sides will die; even people not involved. Be prepared to lose everything you love for the sake of people you'll never meet.