There was a point in my life when I actually enjoyed having conversations over the phone, except with my grandma. But ever since I started dating, that's one of the things I try to avoid at all costs. I hate phone calls almost as much as being asked "What are we?" It all comes down to bitches don't know how to act. Ladies, if you plan on calling me while doing any of the following:
Yelling at kids
Singing along to music
Having entire conversations with other people
Putting me on speaker
Not speaking directly into the mic
Asking me "Why you so quiet?" after ignoring the last statement I made
I understand that women sometimes do annoying shit to test you. I also understand that a lot of these shit tests are done subconsciously, even though they're immediately aware when you pass or fail. Furthermore, I understand that passing all her tests today doesn't exempt me from even more tests in the future. The shit never stops. I accept that.
What I don't understand, is how someone in desperate need of attention, could pick the most intrusive means of communication despite not having shit to talk about. Why would you call me and then put the burden of carrying the conversation on my shoulders? And when I accept that burden, you can't even give me the courtesy of having your full attention.
If there are things in your surrounding environment that require your immediate attention, then just call me back. I'm ok with that. Better yet, just text me. You clearly don't have anything important to tell me, because if you did, you would've said the shit as soon as I answered the phone.
I've made my disdain for pointless phone calls known plenty of times and I get responses like, "I didn't want nothing. I just wanted to hear your voice" or "Well, you never call me, so I only get to talk to you when we see each other" or "I don't like texting."
Let me dismantle these pitiful excuses real quick.
1.If you don't want anything, then you wouldn't have called. Wanting to hear my voice is WANTING something. Also, I'm a rapper with a decent amount of music out. If you really want to hear my voice, then go stream my music. That actually benefits both of us.
2.The reason I don't call, is because I never have a reason to. I only call people when I need an immediate answer to a question. Now, if our conversations in person were entertaining enough, then maybe I would call from time to time just to chat, but that's rarely the case.
3.If you don't like texting, then we won't be talking much, because that's all I do now. That means you should have a whole lot to say when we see each other in person, because if you don't, it's going to be damn near impossible to convince me to call you in the future.
I get that communication is key in any type of relationship and I'm not opposed to conversing with anyone for extended amounts of time if the conversation is stimulating. What I won't do though, is let someone hold my time hostage because they crave my validation. CLICK.
Women date up and men date down. In the dating world, there is a clear hierarchy. Like most hierarchies, there are few people at the top while the majority are distributed throughout the middle. That leaves a small minority of people at the very bottom. It's set up this way, because most things naturally follow the 80/20 rule. This rule applies to many things, but as far as dating goes, 20% of the population have what it takes to attract at least 80% of the population.
To make things easier to explain, I'll separate men and women into 2 different hierarchies. I'm doing this because woman generally hold more value than men, so there's really no point in grouping them together. The differences between the two do correlate, though. For example, 80% of men are at least somewhat attracted to 80% of women, but only 20% of women are somewhat attracted to at least 80% of men.
Now, that I've set up a foundation around the dating hierarchy, you'll better understand why women prefer to date up and men choose to date down. At a quick glance, it's obvious to see that most women generally have more options than most men. That plays a huge factor in their dating standards. It is to be said that men have high preferences, but women have high standards. What I mean by that, is most men base their dating standards on what's consistently obtainable, while most women base their standards on what they desire most. BARS.
Those are straight bars of wisdom, but I already know some of y'all don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, so let me simplify it even more. Lets say the average person, on a scale of 1-10, is a 7 when it comes to looks. Let's also say that there is an equal amount of avaliable male 7s as female 7s, and that goes for every ranking 1-10. Logically, you would think all the 7s would end up together, because they're equal, but that's not the case.
Because of the previously stated hierarchy, everyone wants to be with a 10. The problem is, the 10s want to date each other, so there aren't that many 10s to go around. The 7-men realize this and set their standard at consistently dating 7-women, but the 7-women will pass on these guys in the hopes of attracting 10-men. This causes 7-men to lower their standards even more to 5 or 6-women, hence men "dating down." The 7-women go through a similar process when they realize 10-men will only go as low as dating 8-women, but they lower their standards to 8-men, hence women "dating up."
The psychological ramifications of this, are men have become comfortable dating down, because it's more convenient. Even if a man is a 10, he knows it takes less effort to impress a woman that's an 8 than it does a woman that's a 10. This causes an inflated self-esteem in women as well as a false sense of entitlement. Imagine, a 8-woman who gets hit on by a few 10-men. She's going to use those instances to convince herself that she's too good for an 8-man. And that's consequently how women started dating up.
I used attractiveness to measure dating value just as an example, but the 1-10 scale could apply to anything you value in a partner. It could be looks, money, intelligence, game, personality, status; whatever. That's why you'll sometimes see a smart successful woman dating a bum ass street nigga. As far as dating goes, she values his grittiness over her own stability. People will look at their statuses and think she's dating down, but he makes her FEEL like she's dating up because she loves guys with an edge. The guy might value big titties, but this woman has A-cups, so he FEELS like he's dating down. But he doesn't mind, because the woman he's attracted matches the level of effort he's willing to put in. Got it now?
These are the "4 Fs" that I live by. I could've called this post "Money Peace Health Happiness," but I wanted to stunt with my alliteration skills. Plus marketing is everything. Not too many guides for how to live sound as sexy as the "4 Fs." These are the fundamentals to enjoying life to the fullest. I know it might sound corny at first, but after I explain why I chose these 4 specific things, you'll see why you should just shut the fuck up and roll with it.
First thing's first, you got to get your money right. I don't care what your goal is in life, but you'll definitely either need money to achieve that goal or having money will make it easier to reach that goal. You want to be a professional student? Well, the best teachers are going to need that check. You want a family with the nice house and white picket fence? Then you're going to have to pay for all that. Them kids have to eat something other than Ramen Noodles.
"So how do I you get my bread up?" I know that's what you're probably asking. Well that's simple. Just get off your ass and go get it. That might seem like a disingenuous answer, but that's literally the first step. Most people get stuck in the rat race because they dream about the life they want to be able to afford instead of making a plan and actually working towards that goal. I already made a post on how to get your finances in order so you can use that as a guide.
Sex; the thing that we all know and love. Since most of my readers are men, I'll mainly be talking to the fellas here, but the ladies should find this information helpful as well.
Most of y'all would like to have access to an unlimited amount of pussy. As do I. But don't let that be your end all be all. This is why I listed "fucking" after "finance." You can accomplish more with money than with pussy. To a man, sex is nothing more than a stress reliever. That's why fucking is synonymous with "peace." A healthy sex life will keep your stress levels down so you can continue chasing your dreams.
Think of sex as a massage. You don't work hard to GET a massage. You get a massage BECAUSE you've been working hard. I'll make another comparison for the slow people in the back. Sex is also like food. Is it a necessity? Yes. But it's no one's life goal to eat as much food as possible before they die. Necessities are not goals. Food's only purpose is to replenish the energy you spent on chasing your purpose. With that being said, DO NOT let yourself fall into a drought. A horny man is an unfocused man. Keep enough pussy around to prevent your balls from turning blue.
Here in the states, it seems like we care a lot about fitness with all the workout infomercials and abundance of gyms everywhere. But if you count the fat motherfuckers walking around, you'll realize we don't give a fuck about fitness. I've fallen off the wagon a few times as far as letting myself go, but I always manage to get back in shape. Why? Because my physical health is important to me.
What's the point of making a million dollars on Tuesday and fucking a bad bitch on Wednesday, just to find out your fat ass dreamed those things while in the hospital after you went into a diabetic coma on Monday? I'm not saying that every guy needs to look like he's in the Avengers or that every girl needs to look like the photoshopped pics you see online, but at least live a healthy enough life so you can enjoy your accomplishments for as long as possible. You should be able to finish everything on your bucket list and still have enough time start a new one.
This is the part that everyone sucks at. This sounds like the easiest thing to do, but I'm surprised at how joyless some people's lives are. Even the people who have the good job, with the loving spouse, kids that aren't retarded or ugly and the paid off house, still seem unsatisfied with life. The reason, is they lack fun.
I don't care how much your job pays, eventually you'll wake up not wanting to go to that motherfucker. I don't care how much you love your partner, eventually one or both of you will fall out of love. One thing that will remain constant, is your need foe entertainment. And doing the same shit you normally do in your free time won't cut it. Fuck sitting at home and watching Netflix. Fuck getting drunk/high and playing video games. Fuck going to the same bars and clubs just so you can potentially fuck a stranger. Try some new shit. Write down the fun shit you've always wanted to do and then actually start doing that shit.
There's not much else to life than these 4 Fs. Just get it done.
This will be the home of my random thoughts until you really do know the MuffynMan.