I HATE PHONE CALLS

There was a point in my life when I actually enjoyed having conversations over the phone, except with my grandma. But ever since I started dating, that's one of the things I try to avoid at all costs. I hate phone calls almost as much as being asked "What are we?" It all comes down to bitches don't know how to act.  Ladies, if you plan on calling me while doing any of the following: 

Yelling at kids
Singing along to music
Having entire conversations with other people
Putting me on speaker
Not speaking directly into the mic
Eating
Asking me "Why you so quiet?" after ignoring the last statement I made
Watching tv/movie

Please don't. 

I understand that women sometimes do annoying shit to test you. I also understand that a lot of these shit tests are done subconsciously, even though they're immediately aware when you pass or fail. Furthermore, I understand that passing all her tests today doesn't exempt me from even more tests in the future. The shit never stops. I accept that.

What I don't understand, is how someone in desperate need of attention, could pick the most intrusive means of communication despite not having shit to talk about. Why would you call me and then put the burden of carrying the conversation on my shoulders? And when I accept that burden, you can't even give me the courtesy of having your full attention. 

If there are things in your surrounding environment that require your immediate attention, then just call me back. I'm ok with that. Better yet, just text me. You clearly don't have anything important to tell me, because if you did, you would've said the shit as soon as I answered the phone.

I've made my disdain for pointless phone calls known plenty of times and I get responses like, "I didn't want nothing. I just wanted to hear your voice" or "Well, you never call me, so I only get to talk to you when we see each other" or "I don't like texting."

Let me dismantle these pitiful excuses real quick. 

1.If you don't want anything, then you wouldn't have called. Wanting to hear my voice is WANTING something. Also, I'm a rapper with a decent amount of music out. If you really want to hear my voice, then go stream my music. That actually benefits both of us.

2.The reason I don't call, is because I never have a reason to. I only call people when I need an immediate answer to a question. Now, if our conversations in person were entertaining enough, then maybe I would call from time to time just to chat, but that's rarely the case.

3.If you don't like texting, then we won't be talking much, because that's all I do now. That means you should have a whole lot to say when we see each other in person, because if you don't, it's going to be damn near impossible to convince me to call you in the future.

I get that communication is key in any type of relationship and I'm not opposed to conversing with anyone for extended amounts of time if the conversation is stimulating. What I won't do though, is let someone hold my time hostage because they crave my validation. CLICK.