I like to think I'm pretty tolerable of other people. After all, I'm a non-confrontational guy. Don't get me wrong, I'll stand up for myself as well as voice my opinions without biting my tongue. I also love a good debate, but I'm good on fighting someone just because they say or do something I don't like. For the most part, I'm mellow as hell and try to avoid anything that would disrupt my life or inconvenience me. Unfortunately, I've had to handle a lot of shitty situations in my short life, but that conditioned me to handle any future issues I might come across.
Since I know my capacity to handle tough situations, I hate it when women try to gaslight me by saying shit like, "You just can't handle a woman like me" or "If you can't handle my attitude...." It's not hard to grasp that some women truly believe they're "hard to handle." I'll also accept that their definition of "handle" is probably different than mine. I tend to use dictionary definitions for most of the words I use so here is mine:
handle - to manage, deal with or defend one's self in (a situation or problem)
It would seem that most women making these remarks are using this definition:
handle - to drive or control
So when a woman tells you that you can't "handle" her, what she normally means is "You can't control me." What's funny, is I usually hear these statements directly after refusing to tolerate certain behavior. After hearing shit like this, my first thought is, "Bitch, I can handle everything, but I will only TOLERATE so much." And for the people who like making up definitions, here is mine:
tolerate - allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one does not necessarily like or agree with) without interference.
It's all manipulation. She knows she's doing something annoying. She also knows that you've been putting up with it for a certain period of time before you brought it to her attention. Furthermore, she knows she won't correct her actions out of consideration for you. So what she does, is try to shame you into tolerating her bullshit by telling you what you can't handle. Don't fall for it.
Handling someone and tolerating them are two different things. Minorities have been HANDLING police brutality for I don't know how long, but they've gotten to the point where they refuse to TOLERATE it. You should never be ashamed of your tolerance level, because it's based on your standards and principles.