I Don't tip

You know that person that always seems to have enough money to go out to eat at the drop of a dime, but suddenly becomes frugal when it’s time to tip the help? Yep. That’s me.

It’s funny, because I wasnt raised this way. I’m pretty sure both of my parents usually made an effort to tip, especially for good service. Actually, once I started going out on my own or with friends I used to always tip if I had some extra cash on me. I never followed the tipping 20% rule. Usually, I would just leave a dollar. Eventually, I realized that tipping wasn't mandatory.

Sure, it felt awkward at first, but eventually I became comfortable with saving that extra dollar. In my mind, it made a lot more sense to not tip. Then I would have more money to continue to eat out. It was just simple logic. I don’t go out to eat for the service; I go out because I don’t feel like cooking. If anything, the chef should get the tip. He is the one doing all the important work. He ain’t getting shit from me either, but I do recognize his effort silently.

What bothers me the most, is people trying to make me feel guilty for not tipping. For example, I took this chick out to eat on our first date. I wined and dined her at Applebee’s. (I know. Boss type shit.) Any way, I paid about $20 for our meals and left a $2 tip to make a good impression since she used to be a waittress. (I was feeling myself after that.)

I drove her home, got a kiss goodnight and then headed to the crib. I assumed there was going to be a second date, so I didn't  feel the need to try and fuck that night. Once I got home she went off on me through a text talking about how it was rude/embarrassing to leave only a $2 tip.
This shit caught me off guard, to say the least. She went on a rant about how our waitress couldn’t do shit with $2.

The nerve of this bitch to complain about my tip after I just paid for our ENTIRE meal. Not to mention the gas I burned picking her up and dropping her ass off. On top of that, she didn't  even have the courage to say all this while we were at the restaurant, let alone the car.

What really makes this shit crazy is the waittress didnt  even deserve the tip I gave her. The bitch messed up my order twice. I responded with, “If you think she deserved more, then why didn’t you tip her something?” She responded with, “I left $3 on the table while you weren’t looking.” Now I’m confused. The last message sent was me saying, “So she ended up with a $5 tip. What’s the problem?”

I already know that a bunch of you are saying to yourself, “Don’t you know that most waiters rely on tips to support themselves?” My answer is yes, I do know that waiters and waitresses with with ugly faces don’t get paid much. Boo hoo. This is common knowledge. This means that people, before they apply for these jobs, know ahead of time that they won’t be paid much.

It’s very hard for me to feel sorry for someone in a bad situation that they put themself in. I don’t feel sorry for bullies who get killed. I don’t feel sorry for firemen who get burned. I don’t feel sorry for college grads who can’t pay their student loans. I don’t feel sorry for guilty criminals who get locked up. So I’m not going to feel sorry for a waiter who can’t support themself on $20 a day. You chose this life.

As far as I know, employees don’t get drafted to work their jobs. You fill out an application; you go to an interview; you go through orientation; you start working. No one held a gun to your head during that entire process. If you don't  like your job, then fucking quit.

Personally, I’ve hated all my previous jobs. The work was bearable, but the paycheck was never enough. Guess what I did to solve the problem? I fucking quit and found a slightly better job. I've been repeating that process for years and I’ve noticed minor improvements. The work gets easier; the checks get bigger. I’m planning on quitting my current job and finding a better paying one in a few months.


If you are capable of finding work, then you are capable of finding better work. I’ve worked in the service industry for almost my entire working career, so I know what it’s like to deal with entitled customers, long hours and low pay. If a black man like me can make it out of that situation, then so can you. So you won’t be getting a tip or my sympathy.