Growing up, it was very common to hear girls talking about how they wanted to wait until they were married to have sex. I, being the practical thinker I am, always thought that was an immature/unrealistic goal. If you are abstinent due to religious beliefs, then good for you. Actually, I’m not too fond of religion, but I’ll save that topic for another post. So for the sake of this topic, I’ll leave the religious aspect out of it.
I hate to bash a certain way of thinking without first seeing things from an opposite perspective, so let's dive into this realm of thought. I've never met a guy who purposely chose to abstain from sex until he was married, so first I'll have to put myself in the shoes of a female. This will be a challenge for me, because of my big ass feet.
If I were born and raised as a female with my current parents, then I assume I'd be a lot like my little sister. It's actually kind of hard for me to imagine how she thinks, because we were never close and haven't spoken in over 10 years. I feel like a lot of my psychological traits and intelligence would be retained. With that being said, I'd probably be a slut psychologically while having a pretty conservative sex life.
I say this because my parents didn't smoke or drink, but there was a nice amount of porn around the house. Additionally, they preached about not bringing home any babies or doing drugs. Even though i tried both smoking and drinking, neither of those vices appealed to me. Sex, on the other hand, damn near consumed my life, especially in high school and college. I say that I'd be a slut psychologically, because I'd be very open about my sex life and sexual preferences. This may be the man in me superimposing himself over my hypothetical female self, but I would've probably been bisexual as a female. I have too many female friends who find the female body attractive. While most of them identify as straight, many of them are openly bi/gay. I doubt I would feel any different as a female.
Even though sex would be a huge part of my life, I wouldn't have as much as people would expect. Mainly, because I was so afraid of getting a girl pregnant and having my life ruined. That fear would definitely remain constant. Probably even more so as a chick. I understand that birth control is a viable option, but I doubt my parents would've supported that in high school. And fuck condoms. In college I would've been DTF, cause I'd pay for the birth control myself. That underlying fear would still be in the back of my mind, though.
Any way, I say all that to say this. There is no good reason (as a female) to make a guy wait for sex if there is a mutual sexual attraction and you are BOTH READY to fuck. I don’t care what reason you give me. I’ll immediately shoot it down and call it stupid. Here are a few reasons why females make niggas wait to get the draws:
1. You assume that a guy who is willing to wait isn’t only interested in fucking.
I have no idea where women got this shit from. Probably some Think Like a Man bullshit. Personally, if you make me wait too long, I’ll put your ass in the friend zone if I truly like you. If I am only interested in sex, I don’t have a problem waiting for pussy as long as I have other hoes to preoccupy me in the meantime. I’ve had females that made me wait an entire year before they let me hit. I didn’t mind, because I always had access to chicks who only made me wait a few days, if at all. The sooner we fuck, the sooner you find out my true intentions.
2. You think the sex will be more meaningful if you are married.
First off, marriage is a joke. Second, even if you guys do wait until marriage, both of you are going to regret what you missed out on while signing those divorce papers. Plus sex is just sex. If you require a strong emotional connection to fully enjoy it, that’s cool. You should be able to do that long before the marriage phase, though. And why would you wait until you are bound together by law to see if the sex was even worth the wait?
3. You don’t want to feel used.
Neither do we, bitch, but that’s what relationships are. It’s just two people using each other for personal gain. Let’s say we don’t have sex EVER, but we still sustain a successful relationship. We are still using each other to gain some sort of personal gratification. It’s human nature to care more about yourself than the rest of the world. I might value your intelligence, but if I find a bitch that’s just as attractive AND smarter than you, then our relationship becomes obsolete. The company you work for uses your labor to make millions of dollars while only giving you a tiny ass paycheck every week. Vice versa, you use your company to pay bills while doing a half-ass job at work. We are all being used in some way. Grow the fuck up.
4. You want him to think you are different from the basic bitches who fuck on the 1st date.
When I am in a relationship, the only difference between my girlfriend and my female friends is that I’m not fucking my friends. Females can’t seem to grasp this concept. If we ain’t fucking, then we are just friends. That means you aren’t any different than the basic bitches I come across on a daily basis. I once had a female friend tell me that she doesn’t do one night stands, because she doesn’t want the guy to think she is a hoe. This logic makes no fucking sense. If you know you’ll never see this guy again, why the fuck do you care what he thinks of you? Get your nut and move on.
5. You assume he will immediately lose interest after banging them cheeks.
I already stated this earlier, but I’ll say it again. The sooner you fuck, the sooner you find out his true intentions. Don’t get it twisted. I’m not saying you should fuck a guy just to see if he really likes you. I’m saying there is no harm in you getting an orgasm before receiving the good/bad news. If he genuinely cares about you after beating them walls, congratulations, start sucking his dick; he earned it. If he completely blows you off afterwards, oh well, at least you don’t have to wonder any more. You just saved time by not pursuing a relationship doomed to fail. Now, you can move on to the next nigga. Be aware however, there is a strong possibility that he really wanted to pursue a long-term relationship with you, but your pussy was trash. Or maybe you can’t suck a good dick. A lot of times that’s a deal breaker for guys. You can’t blame a nigga for having standards. Step your pussy/head game up bitch.
6. You don’t want to have any regrets the next day.
I guess I can understand this one. I usually have regrets about being a gentleman and not aggressively attacking the pussy, but there have been times when I did get it and regretted it. My regrets usually come from pregnancy scares. Sometimes the booty wasn’t worth all the work I put in. At the end of the day, you can’t let fear run your life. I rather regret doing something than never knowing what could’ve been.
7. You are on your period.
Surprisingly, a lot of niggas don’t care. I can understand your hesitation if your man is a Crip. If your man don’t give a fuck; you shouldn’t either. Gone head a ruin them sheets. Just buy that nigga red sheets for his bday.
8. You know your worth.
This is such a cop out response. It’s like saying “Jesus” is the answer to everything. (2+2= not Jesus) Look, worth isn’t determined by the seller. It’s determined by the buyer. Let’s say you think your pussy is worth $1million, but the highest offer you’ve ever received was $5. That means you walking around with some $5 dollar pussy. Do you know why bitches love Beyonce’ so much? It’s because she’s been sitting on some $1million pussy her whole life. Niggas don’t even attempt to one night Queen B. Do you want to know why niggas treat you the way they do? Because you ain’t that bitch that you think you are. You played yourself. (DJ Khaled voice)
9. You think withholding sex gives you power in the relationship.
I admit that pussy is quite powerful, but it’s power is limited. Men could just as easily play the sex deprivation games you play. I once had an ex tell me “You wear the pants in this relationship, but I control the zipper.” It was a clever quote, but the arrogance of it kind of pissed me off. I felt like a parent and one of my kids was talking shit to me. One of my favorite comedians said this. “Sex don’t start until dick get hard and it ends when dick gets soft.” I always liked this quote, because it’s true. As a female. No matter how bad you want sex from a guy, you aren’t getting any until he gets hard. And the sex ends when he decides to nut. Besides the physical aspect of power, true power in a relationship belongs to the one with the least amount of emotions invested. By default, men usually fall in that category due to our “lack of emotions.” Women actually put themselves at a disadvantage, because they crave an emotional foundation to fully enjoy sex. This isn’t true for ALL females, but for the majority, tough luck.
10. You just aren’t ready.
[There is no good reason (as a female) to make a guy wait for sex if there is a mutual sexual attraction and you are BOTH READY to fuck.]
I know I stated this earlier in the post, but bitches don’t pay attention to details when being proven wrong. This entire post is based on a hypothetical situation in which you ARE READY, but are holding yourself back for girl reasons.
11. You want to build a genuine connection.
Understandable. Building a strong connection does lead to a healthy sex life. It also makes it harder to let go of an unhealthy relationship. Most people don’t realize they are in an unhealthy relationship until after they’ve had sex. No matter how strong your connection is before sex, that doesn’t mean anything if you end up not being a good match for each other. You guys might not even be sexually compatible. You might be into shit that he thinks is gross or vice versa. But what if you are a perfect match? A lot of the time, that’s something you can feel on the 1st date.
12. You want to see a guy work for the pussy.
This is kind of like overestimating your worth. I get that you want to see a guy put in 110% effort, but you’ll never see that effort if you aren’t working just as hard. What makes you think a guy will go all out for you if you’re still not even sure if he’s worth fucking? You only get what you give. Bitches put their pussy on a pedestal and act like it’s a prize to be won. That only leads to guys objectifying you even more than they already do. Guys like a challenge, SOMETIMES. If your favorite restaurant made you run 10 miles before they served you; you would eat somewhere else. Let’s say you take them up on their challenge, though. After that run, you’re going to be expecting the best meal you’ve ever had. Think about your level of disappointment when they bring out a meal you could get anywhere else. All I know is, if you make me do $1million worth of work; you better not try to pay me with some $5 pussy.
13. You are worried about your body count.
This has to be a psychological thing, because no one is going to know how many dicks you’ve been through unless you tell them. As a female, you probably care at least a little about how society views you. If you would let society hinder your love life, you’re hopeless. Let’s say fucking more than 9 guys makes you a hoe in the eyes of society. Who cares if your true love is guy #10? So you don’t want to have to fuck 10 guys to find that 1. I get it, but what if that’s what it takes? What if no matter how long you make a guy wait, you are destined to end up with guy #10? Making each guy wait a couple weeks or a couple months is going to eat up more of your time than it has to. Females like to complain about guys “wasting” their time. While you’re making guy #9 wait on some pussy he don’t really need because he is still fucking girls #30-35 you could’ve been moved on to guy #10.