Females seem to think they have more in common with us than reality permits. Yes, we all eat, sleep, fuck and shit, but that's where the similarities between us end. Stop thinking you can get inside our heads and automatically know how we feel towards you or anything else. It's annoying and sad.
I've been told countless times by millions of females that they have some good pussy. (Sigh) First of all, what does that even mean? You assume your definition of "good pussy" is the same as ours. According to female qualifications, good pussy is: 1. Clean You wash your ass every day, maybe even twice a day. You keep the bush trimmed or even better, non-existent. Your pussy doesn't stink and it tastes like water. Rebuttal 1. Many niggas wouldn't mind fucking you in the ass. I don't care how dirty your pussy is; it can't be worse than your asshole. 2. Tight Now, I don't know what circumference pussy should be, but I'm assuming hoes stick something small in there (like a finger) and make sure it touches all 4 walls. Rebuttal 2. Generally speaking, pussies are pretty resilient. If it can bounce back from popping out a baby, I doubt tightness is an issue for any man unless he's Asian. 3. Wet (drip, drip....drip) Biologically, all pussy can get wet. That's what pussies do. How wet is wet, though? What level of wetness makes a pussy above average? Would Auqaman have to bring scuba gear just in case? I'm assuming wet to a female means you can stick anything in there, no matter how big, and it will come out covered in pussy juice on all sides. Rebuttal 3. Like I said, all pussies get wet. If it's not wet enough, a nigga will not hesitate to spit on it a few times. 4. Receives No Complaints None of the men you fucked have ever told you that you had bad pussy. Rebuttal 4. (Long Sigh) I have never....in my entire life....ever, ever, ever, EVER....heard a nigga complain about some pussy. This has to be the #1 response I get from females when I ask "How do you know your pussy good?" If anything, niggas complain about the owner, not the pet. Historically, women aren't good at accepting constructive criticism. Even if you had bad pussy, no nigga would tell you. They would just tell the homeboys. (to spare your feelings of course) I don't care if multiple niggas told you that you were the best they ever had. Since when are niggas known to tell a female the truth? 5. Overly Pleasing So, most of the guys you fucked came too early. Congrats. Rebuttal 5. These seems like a pretty undesirable trait, but I hear so many chicks brag about it. Guys come quick for a number of reasons. None of which have anything to do with how good your pussy is. More than likely, the guy is hypersensitive and cums quick with every chick. Or you could just be a super bad bitch. The more attractive you look; the quicker we nut. Science. 6. Addictive So you dumped your boyfriend, keyed his car, garnished his checks for child support, fucked his brother and told the cops he hit you and got him sent to prison. As soon as he gets out, he texts you and says you guys should get back together. Rebuttal 6. Niggas do stupid shit sometimes. You might be attracted to obsessive/crazy guys. Maybe, you have the softest bed he's ever fucked in. Maybe, he got kicked out his crib and needs a place to spend the night. Maybe, he left his favorite pair of basketball shorts at your crib. Maybe, he just wants to spend time with his kid. Niggas ain't coming back JUST for pussy. Now, what do we men consider good pussy? Here is our list of criteria: 1. It's a pussy To be more specific, it's a hole we can stick our dick in. Whether it be a pussy, ass, mouth or your best friend's pussy; it's all the same. That's it. Sure, we appreciate good hygiene, grooming and natural lubrication, but at the end of the day, all pussy is good pussy. We clearly have different definitions of "good." Let me break it down even farther. The term "good" implies that "better" exists. For example, if a chick with "bad" pussy can somehow make it gradually "better," then over time it could become "good" pussy. This seems logical, but you can't make pussy "better." It's just a hole. It's already good at being a hole. This should come as a relief for all you females who think you have "bad" pussy. What you can make better, however, is your head game. Your pussy doesn't have teeth, so there is nothing in there that my dick has to dodge. I would give you ladies some tips on how to improve your dick sucking skills, but the only advice I have is LESS TEETH. The only thing that can make your pussy "bad" is everything else that comes with it. Like your attitude, unwillingness to explore, lack of sexual experience, shyness, kids, baby daddy, emotions, family, how much you run from the dick, how much you nag me, the neighborhood I have to pick you up from, how far away you live, how long you make me wait for it, the amount of money I spend on our 1st date, etc.
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AuthorThis will be the home of my random thoughts until you really do know the MuffynMan. Archives
May 2021
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