As I get older, I start to see the world for what it really is - a bunch of idiots. Since I graduated high school, I’ve probably had about 4 drinks and smoked 4-5 times. Drugs and alcohol don't appeal to me much, (especially alcohol) so I choose to abstain from such things. Not for any religious or health reasons, but because I simply don’t get any benefits from doing the shit.
I started smoking and drinking (and fucking) my sophomore year in high school. My mind was always focused on the future. It still is. Even back then, I knew how much adulthood would suck. I knew that eventually, I’d have to start taking life seriously and give up most of the things I enjoy in order to not turn out like a bum ass nigga. I prepared myself for this by experimenting with as many things as I could while I was young enough to recover from any bad side effects. I didn’t want to become the only crackhead in my class, so I limited myself to weed and liquor.
Weed was the 1st thing I tried. I didn't really have any huge expectations so it was neither disappointing nor impressive. It was just ok. Learning to blow a smoke ring was probably the most satisfying thing about it. I want to say it relaxed me, but I’ve only ever smoked in relaxing situations. Plus I’m naturally calm and nonchalant. This was definitely a group activity for me, because that was the only way I could smoke for free. Weed was never good enough for me to spend money on.
It was maybe about a month or so later when I started drinking. Me and a buddy used to steal bottles of liquor from the grocery store down the street from my crib. We would take it to one of our hang out spots and split it with anyone offering weed. Again, it’s hard to say if the alcohol really had any major affect on me. I never got sloppy drunk - just enough for a little buzz. Immediately, I knew drinking wasn’t for me. It was mainly because of the taste and the way drunk people act around me.
Since I didn’t like the taste or smell of alcohol that was easy to quit. Once niggas stopped offering me free smoke, weed was also easy to quit. On top of that, my moms was nagging me about getting a job and I knew I'd have to take a drug test eventually. I definitely didn’t want to give her another thing to bitch about. I got what I wanted out of the experience. I did let my friends talk me into trying both again just so I could prove a point that I really don’t get anything from being drunk or high.
Now to address the idiots. When I tell people I don’t smoke or drink, I get the same dumb ass response. “Then what do you do for fun?” This has to be on my top 5 most hated questions list. Right next to “Can I touch your dreads?”; “What’s wrong?” and “Can I borrow (any amount of money over $20)?”. I can’t even comprehend how someone could think this question isn’t stupid. As if smoking or drinking by themselves are inherently “fun” and no other entertaining activities exist. They act as if sober people aren’t capable of having a good time. What’s crazy, is we probably do the same shit for fun. I go to concerts, bowling, shooting, the club, hooping, working out, watching movies, cooking, hang out with friends, play games etc.
What I think they mean to ask me is, “What is your vice?” That’s a more intelligent question and my answer is simply, “Fucking.” That’s it. Fucking to me, is what smoking and drinking are to the general population. It’s my stress reliever. When I’ve had a long hard day at work, busting a nut is exactly what I need to take the edge off. Not to mention it’s free and burns calories.
This will be the home of my random thoughts until you really do know the MuffynMan.